You've reached Vriska Serket! I'm obviously way too busy to waste my time with answering you, so feel free to leave a message! If I'm feeling gracious, I might get back to you.
VRISKA OK FIRST OFF I'M AWARE OF THE POINTLESSNESS AND BASE STUPIDITY OF TEXTING YOU RIGHT NOW BUT I'M KIND OF AT A LOSS FOR WHAT ELSE TO DO AND NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL FEELS WRONG. I MEAN, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SITUATION IS WRONG, IT IS NOT SIMPLY FUCKED UP, IT'S FUCKED DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT AND EVERY OTHER CONCEIVABLE DIRECTION AND THEN SOME THAT ARE TECHNICALLY IMPOSSIBLE IT IS A HEINOUS, KNOTTED WEB OF FUCKERY ENSNARING AND CHOKING US ALL TO DEATH. WELL. EXCEPT FOR YOU. FUCK. THIS WAS AN AWFUL IDEA, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING I WASN'T THINKING. THIS WAS JUST ME CHARGING THOUGHTLESSLY INTO ANOTHER NEST OF WRETCHED, CRAWLING RETARDATION, YELLING AND WAVING MY ARMS AND RUNNING AROUND LIKE A HEADLESS FUCKING CLUCKBEAST. I GUESS I JUST WANTED TO SAY EVEN THOUGH IT IS LITERALLY THE MOST USELESS, WORTHLESS THING I COULD POSSIBLY UTTER IN THIS SITUATION AND I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT IT I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY. REALLY, REALLY SORRY. AND THAT'S NOT GOING TO UNDO WHAT HAPPENED OR BRING YOU BACK, EVEN THOUGH YOU WILL BE COMING BACK. AND THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE, TOO. I VEHEMENTLY AND VIOLENTLY DENY IT AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY AND SOMETIMES I MEANT IT WHEN I DID BUT I ALSO THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU YOU ARE MY FRIEND. A HORRIBLE, AGGRAVATING, FLAP CHAFING FRIEND WHO MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM UNTIL MY OXYGEN SACS DISINTEGRATE AND I VOMIT UP MY OWN NOISEBOX. AND I'M SORRY THAT IT WAS MY FUCKUP THAT GOT YOU KILLED. IT'S KIND OF A RUNNING THEME WITH MY FRIENDSHIP. AND IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO CONTINUE BEING A THING I'LL UNDERSTAND. SO YEAH. THAT'S IT I GUESS. I'M GOING TO GO NOW BEFORE I EMBARRASS MYSELF ANY MORE VIGOROUSLY THAN I ALREADY HAVE. SEE YOU.
Jeez, Vantas, did you have to leave me a novel to come 8ack to? And what's worse is it's not even a good novel. I don't even have to read it to know it's pro8a8ly some huge self-loathing pity party for yourself. I don't need you to apologize for me dying, just so it'll make you feel 8etter. It wasn't your stupid fault. Why do you have to think that everything is your fault and spend your dum8 existence 8laming yourself for it? Sometimes shit happens, and surprise!!!!!!!! It isn't your fault. It's some8ody else's. Like some8ody who made crappy apparitions appear that could kill people. Did you think it would 8e different if I hadn't run into you? If I had kept flying around carrying Nill that I wouldn't have gotten exhausted? That it might, I don't know, happened anyway when I would finally need to land? Do you think it would have 8een 8etter if you'd died instead???????? What a8out Nill? What a8out ALL of us? Is that wh8t yo8 w8nted? Just fucking stop, OK. It's not the first time I've made a gam8le that I lost. I knew the stakes from the start. Coming 8ack for you was my decision, not yours. So don't act like it was such a 8ig pro8lem for me 8ecause I wanted to save a friend.
VRISKA!!!! FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU. SECOND OF ALL, FUCK YOU. THIRD OF ALL, FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS UP THE NOOK WITH A RUSTY CULLING FORK. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT! ALL I KNOW IS I CALLED YOUR NAME, YOU CAME BACK FOR ME, AND YOU DIED FOR IT. I WATCHED YOU DIE. MAYBE NOTHING WOULD HAVE CHANGED IF I'D RUN IN ANY OTHER DIRECTION OR KEPT MY STUPID MOUTH SHUT BUT MAYBE SOMETHING WOULD HAVE. MAYBE ALL THREE OF US COULD HAVE MADE IT OUT ALIVE! WHAT A THOUGHT. IS IT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK THAT NO ONE DIE?????? DO YOU ALL GET OFF ON IT OR SOMETHING, DO YOU DERIVE A SICK PLEASURE FROM GETTING YOURSELVES KILLED IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE? WHATEVER. REMIND ME NOT TO GIVE A SHIT NEXT TIME YOU DIE.
May8e I don't want to fucking talk a8out how I got myself killed again!!!!!!!! May8e I was hoping you'd just 8e gr8ful you made it out alive! May8es means a8solutely fuck all, anyway. No amount of what ifs is going to change what happened. Or do you want me to get caught up in what ifs? What if I hadn't somehow conjured up my stupid lusus. What if I had left you 8ehind and then found out you died and had to think a8out how I could have gone 8ack and saved you? Do you really think that I woke up and decided, 'Oh, I don't think I'm dead enough yet from my own stupidity, I think I'll get myself eaten 8y my lusus. That seems like a gr8 way to go'? No8ody wants to die, idiot, least of all me! 8ut sometimes there are things that are more important that make them want to risk it, regardless of the consequences. I went 8ack to save you and I did, that's all. So try to stop raining on my accomplishment.
Didn't want me to? May8e. Didn't need me to? Hoof8east shit. Look, it happened. It was my choice to save your sorry ass that can't even even 8e thankful he's still alive. Can you 8e gr8ful for once in your misera8le life that your friends actually have your 8ack?
I AM GRATEFUL. OK, I AM HELLS OF GRATEFUL. I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I ADMIT IT! LO AND BEHOLD, KARKAT VANTAS IS AFRAID OF DEATH. AND I'M GLAD I DIDN'T DIE. THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE VRISKA! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. WHAT PISSES ME OFF IS YOU SEEM TO THINK IT'S OK THAT *YOU* DIED. IF HAVING MY BACK MEANS MY FRIENDS LEAVE THEIRS OPEN AND UNGUARDED FOR THE UNMITIGATED MANGLING THEN NO, I CAN'T BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT.
Not so fast, Vantas! You can't just make these kinds of propositions with a taken lady. It also depends on what you mean 8y something stupid. What level of stupidity are we talking a8out?
I REALLY DON'T CARE WHETHER YOU'RE TAKEN OR NOT TAKEN OR CONDUCTING A STEAMY VACILLATING QUADRANGLE FLING WITH A HORRORTERROR I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT HOW YOU WISH TO INTERPRET THIS YOU CAN THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT TONIGHT. I'M ALL OUT OF FUCKS TO GIVE. WHAT LEVEL OF STUPIDITY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT, SHE ASKS. YOUR LEVEL OF STUPIDITY IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT. TONIGHT YOU AND I HAVE A DATE IT'S A DATE WITH DISASTER AND AS I UNDERSTAND, DISASTER DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO BEING STOOD UP, SO YOU BETTER FUCKING SHOW. WE'RE GOING TO AS I'M SURE YOU'LL BE THRILLED TO HEAR THAT WE ARE GOING TO FUCK SHIT UP.
Not that I don't love the idea of fucking shit up, I mean, it's pro8a8ly up there in my favorite pastimes, 8ut I'm gonna need a reason why. So, tell me, what's the occasion????????
OH MY GOD. DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT KNOW? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW YET? OK IT'S
[ he can't type her name. his hands shake. he decides to take the cowards way out, and simply sends a link to the online recording of the incident in the arena. ]
[She isn't sure what she was expecting, but what she sees when she clicks the link wasn't even in her top ten. Her hands shake before tightening on her phone, paling around the knuckles. She blinks back the haze of blue as she taps out her response.]
What the f8ck is this???????? You're t8lling me Kanaya is DE8D?
text | IT'S BEEN IN HER INBOX SINCE THE 23RD
OK FIRST OFF I'M AWARE OF THE POINTLESSNESS AND BASE STUPIDITY OF TEXTING YOU RIGHT NOW
BUT I'M KIND OF AT A LOSS FOR WHAT ELSE TO DO AND NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL FEELS
WRONG.
I MEAN, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SITUATION IS WRONG, IT IS NOT SIMPLY FUCKED UP, IT'S FUCKED DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT AND EVERY OTHER CONCEIVABLE DIRECTION AND THEN SOME THAT ARE TECHNICALLY IMPOSSIBLE
IT IS A HEINOUS, KNOTTED WEB OF FUCKERY ENSNARING AND CHOKING US ALL TO DEATH.
WELL.
EXCEPT FOR YOU.
FUCK.
THIS WAS AN AWFUL IDEA, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING
I WASN'T THINKING. THIS WAS JUST ME CHARGING THOUGHTLESSLY INTO ANOTHER NEST OF WRETCHED, CRAWLING RETARDATION, YELLING AND WAVING MY ARMS AND RUNNING AROUND LIKE A HEADLESS FUCKING CLUCKBEAST.
I GUESS I JUST WANTED TO SAY
EVEN THOUGH IT IS LITERALLY THE MOST USELESS, WORTHLESS THING I COULD POSSIBLY UTTER IN THIS SITUATION
AND I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT IT
I WANTED TO TELL YOU I'M SORRY.
REALLY, REALLY SORRY.
AND THAT'S NOT GOING TO UNDO WHAT HAPPENED OR BRING YOU BACK, EVEN THOUGH YOU WILL BE COMING BACK.
AND THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE, TOO. I VEHEMENTLY AND VIOLENTLY DENY IT AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY
AND SOMETIMES I MEANT IT WHEN I DID BUT I ALSO THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU
YOU ARE MY FRIEND.
A HORRIBLE, AGGRAVATING, FLAP CHAFING FRIEND WHO MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM UNTIL MY OXYGEN SACS DISINTEGRATE AND I VOMIT UP MY OWN NOISEBOX.
AND I'M SORRY THAT IT WAS MY FUCKUP THAT GOT YOU KILLED.
IT'S KIND OF A RUNNING THEME WITH MY FRIENDSHIP.
AND IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO CONTINUE BEING A THING I'LL UNDERSTAND.
SO YEAH.
THAT'S IT I GUESS.
I'M GOING TO GO NOW BEFORE I EMBARRASS MYSELF ANY MORE VIGOROUSLY THAN I ALREADY HAVE.
SEE YOU.
text | she doesn't reply until the 27th
And what's worse is it's not even a good novel. I don't even have to read it to know it's pro8a8ly some huge self-loathing pity party for yourself.
I don't need you to apologize for me dying, just so it'll make you feel 8etter. It wasn't your stupid fault.
Why do you have to think that everything is your fault and spend your dum8 existence 8laming yourself for it?
Sometimes shit happens, and surprise!!!!!!!! It isn't your fault.
It's some8ody else's. Like some8ody who made crappy apparitions appear that could kill people.
Did you think it would 8e different if I hadn't run into you? If I had kept flying around carrying Nill that I wouldn't have gotten exhausted? That it might, I don't know, happened anyway when I would finally need to land?
Do you think it would have 8een 8etter if you'd died instead???????? What a8out Nill?
What a8out ALL of us? Is that wh8t yo8 w8nted?
Just fucking stop, OK. It's not the first time I've made a gam8le that I lost. I knew the stakes from the start.
Coming 8ack for you was my decision, not yours. So don't act like it was such a 8ig pro8lem for me 8ecause I wanted to save a friend.
no subject
FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU. SECOND OF ALL, FUCK YOU. THIRD OF ALL, FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS UP THE NOOK WITH A RUSTY CULLING FORK.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT! ALL I KNOW IS I CALLED YOUR NAME, YOU CAME BACK FOR ME, AND YOU DIED FOR IT.
I WATCHED YOU DIE.
MAYBE NOTHING WOULD HAVE CHANGED IF I'D RUN IN ANY OTHER DIRECTION OR KEPT MY STUPID MOUTH SHUT
BUT MAYBE SOMETHING WOULD HAVE.
MAYBE ALL THREE OF US COULD HAVE MADE IT OUT ALIVE! WHAT A THOUGHT.
IS IT REALLY SO MUCH TO ASK THAT NO ONE DIE?????? DO YOU ALL GET OFF ON IT OR SOMETHING, DO YOU DERIVE A SICK PLEASURE FROM GETTING YOURSELVES KILLED IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE?
WHATEVER.
REMIND ME NOT TO GIVE A SHIT NEXT TIME YOU DIE.
no subject
May8e I was hoping you'd just 8e gr8ful you made it out alive!
May8es means a8solutely fuck all, anyway. No amount of what ifs is going to change what happened.
Or do you want me to get caught up in what ifs? What if I hadn't somehow conjured up my stupid lusus. What if I had left you 8ehind and then found out you died and had to think a8out how I could have gone 8ack and saved you?
Do you really think that I woke up and decided, 'Oh, I don't think I'm dead enough yet from my own stupidity, I think I'll get myself eaten 8y my lusus. That seems like a gr8 way to go'?
No8ody wants to die, idiot, least of all me! 8ut sometimes there are things that are more important that make them want to risk it, regardless of the consequences.
I went 8ack to save you and I did, that's all. So try to stop raining on my accomplishment.
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Didn't need me to? Hoof8east shit.
Look, it happened. It was my choice to save your sorry ass that can't even even 8e thankful he's still alive.
Can you 8e gr8ful for once in your misera8le life that your friends actually have your 8ack?
no subject
OK, I AM HELLS OF GRATEFUL.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I ADMIT IT! LO AND BEHOLD, KARKAT VANTAS IS AFRAID OF DEATH.
AND I'M GLAD I DIDN'T DIE.
THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE VRISKA! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
WHAT PISSES ME OFF IS YOU SEEM TO THINK IT'S OK THAT *YOU* DIED.
IF HAVING MY BACK MEANS MY FRIENDS LEAVE THEIRS OPEN AND UNGUARDED FOR THE UNMITIGATED MANGLING THEN NO, I CAN'T BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT.
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text; backdated to 29 august
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What do you want????????
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What a8out you?
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i guess i wanted to say thanks too
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What the hell are you even thanking me for? That's dum8.
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text; didn't need my heart ty iola
text; np i didn't either
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text; morning of 3 october
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What the hell happened?
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this is weird
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I have to duck to get through my doorways. ::::/ These horns are a pain in the ass.
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are your horns really long or something?
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text | the 14th | late evening/early nighttime
WE'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING STUPID TONIGHT.
no subject
You can't just make these kinds of propositions with a taken lady. It also depends on what you mean 8y something stupid.
What level of stupidity are we talking a8out?
no subject
I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT HOW YOU WISH TO INTERPRET THIS
YOU CAN THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT TONIGHT.
I'M ALL OUT OF FUCKS TO GIVE.
WHAT LEVEL OF STUPIDITY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT, SHE ASKS.
YOUR LEVEL OF STUPIDITY IS WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
TONIGHT YOU AND I HAVE A DATE
IT'S A DATE WITH DISASTER
AND AS I UNDERSTAND, DISASTER DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO BEING STOOD UP, SO YOU BETTER FUCKING SHOW.
WE'RE GOING TO
AS I'M SURE YOU'LL BE THRILLED TO HEAR THAT WE ARE GOING TO
FUCK
SHIT
UP.
this is so incredibly late i'm sorry
So, tell me, what's the occasion????????
you're never late, darling
DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT KNOW?
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW YET?
OK
IT'S
[ he can't type her name. his hands shake. he decides to take the cowards way out, and simply sends a link to the online recording of the incident in the arena. ]
I'M SORRY.
no subject
What the f8ck is this????????
You're t8lling me Kanaya is DE8D?
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